How many times do we read about a Christian who is faced with a loved one’s beliefs that come in conflict with their own?
Lots of people won’t like what I have to say here.
But it needs to be said,
because sometimes the things we least want to hear
are the very things that we most need to hear.
Then they have to decide –
were they wrong before, misinterpreting God’s Word?
Did God change His mind?
Is this a new time with new laws from God? Something else?
You may have noticed – I said “hear”.
Even though this is in writing and will most likely be “read”.
Here’s why the word “hear” is important –
Mk 4:1 Again Jesus began to teach by the lake. The crowd that gathered around him was so large that he got into a boat and sat in it out on the lake, while all the people were along the shore at the water’s edge. 2 He taught them many things by parables, and in his teaching said: 3 “Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, multiplying thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times.”
Mk 4:9 Then Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”
Mk 4:10 When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables. 11 He told them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables 12 so that,
“ ‘they may be ever seeing but never perceiving,
and ever hearing but never understanding;
otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!’’”
<also appears in Luke 8:1 – 8:10>
This is a parable about people who have received God’s Word. In some of them – it never takes hold. For others – it may take hold for a time, but does not last. For the few remaining – it does take hold and grows.
This same parable is told in Luke.
Mk 4:21 He said to them, “Do you bring in a lamp to put it under a bowl or a bed? Instead, don’t you put it on its stand? 22 For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open. 23 If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.”
Mk 4:24 “Consider carefully what you hear,” he continued. “With the measure you use, it will be measured to you—and even more. 25 Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.”
This one is about receiving His Word – but then what do we do with it? Do we hide it – or do we let it show? And – we will be treated as we treat His word.
Lk 14:28 “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? 29 For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, 30 saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’
Lk 14:31 “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32 If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33 In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.
Lk 14:34 “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? 35 It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.
“He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”
This one is part of a section called The cost of being a disciple in the NIV.
It’s about considering the costs before getting started. There are various costs – not just money. It includes personal costs – like how others feel about us, as well as how we feel about others.
These are the instances in the New Testament where the phrase ears to hear are seen.
All of them are from Jesus. And all of them have something to do with hearing, but not understanding.
Hearing (and reading in our time) is one thing. Actually understanding can be something quite different.
There’s also one instance of ears to hear in the Old Testament.
Just in case you’re one of those that thinks maybe things have changed – that things forbidden in the Old Testament are now – somehow – OK – this won’t make you happy.
Eze 12:1 The word of the LORD came to me: 2 “Son of man, you are living among a rebellious people. They have eyes to see but do not see and ears to hear but do not hear, for they are a rebellious people.
Yeah – that’s about us too.
We have eyes. And we have ears.
But we only see what we want to see.
And we only hear what we want to hear.
And we interpret what we see and what we hear in a manner that’s advantageous to us – what we want to see and hear right now!
The right now part is important.
If we truly took a long term view of what’s advantageous to us – we’d want to see and hear everything in exactly the way God intended. That’s the eternal view.
Unfortunately, we are taught all to well that immediate satisfaction is the most important thing. That’s the view for the next day or so.
And so we are – as The LORD told Ezekiel – and other prophets – a rebellious people.
But how can we turn against family members and loved ones?
There’s an assumption in the question I just asked. And it’s a false assumption. More on that in a moment.
People who ask this question may be familiar with the next few verses –
Remember – earlier we looked at the verses from The cost of being a disciple.
Full disclosure, if you didn’t remember or look it up – that section starts with these verses:
Lk 14:25 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27 And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
But what does that really mean?
Does it really mean walk away from people for Jesus’ sake?
Does it really mean forget them and leave them to whatever happens?
I don’t believe it does.
Remember – Jesus also said – in fact, in the very next parable in Luke –
Lk 15:1 Now the tax collectors and “sinners” were all gathering around to hear him. 2 But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”
Lk 15:3 Then Jesus told them this parable: 4 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
Here’s what I think we’re told here –
When someone – even a loved one (maybe especially a loved one, because we care about them even more than a stranger) puts us in a position where their activities / beliefs / lifestyle / whatever is in conflict with ours as a Christian – then we need to do something.
We could pretend nothing’s happening. We could continue life and interactions with them as though nothing had happened. But this is living a lie. One that’s likely to eventually, slowly, but surely, lead us to compromise our beliefs as a Christian. Certainly – others will see that we appear to be condoning, if not supporting, something we used to consider a sin. That doesn’t say anything good about our light that’s shining for others to see.
We could pretend that God has changed His mind. We could convince ourselves that this one thing – whatever it is – that used to be forbidden is now suddenly OK. When did God say that? How did He say that? And how come we are the only person that got the message? And wasn’t it incredibly fortunate that God changed His mind right at the moment we needed Him to do it in order to solve our personal issue? Sorry – that’s just too much pretending to think it could really be true.
We could also be honest about what we believe. We can tell the person that whatever this thing is that’s come up is wrong, from the point of view of the God we believe in, trust, love and worship. And we cannot turn away from Him – no matter what.
I’m sure many / most of you think you know the one issue I’m talking about. Sorry – if you think that – you’re wrong. It’s not just about one thing. It’s about any thing that would drive a wedge between us and God – because of something that’s come up between us and a loved one. I experienced this with my own father. He wanted me to support him in something he was trying to do to my mother. I told Him I had another Father I had to answer to – and I told him what he was doing was wrong. He told me to leave. He changed their will to write me out of it. He did what he wanted to do. I had to leave – I just couldn’t be part of what he was doing. And I made that very clear.
However – that wasn’t the end. I still tried to reach him and convince him that it was important that he reconcile with Jesus – and that if he didn’t do that, his wife (my mother) would be in Heaven – without him. In the end – he thought I was a minister. But then he also had Alzheimer’s. So I won’t know whether he was saved until later.
It’s hard. It causes problems. Problems that maybe we don’t want to face – don’t want to deal with.
I didn’t want to deal with it. But more than that – I didn’t want to turn away from God – and didn’t want to disappoint Him.
It messes up the easy life we think we’re entitled to as Christians.
But – Jesus never promised an easy life.
He promised things like –
Luke 14:26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27 And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
And He didn’t make this promise when it was just His closest followers – not to just His disciples.
No – He made this promise when there was a large crowd of people – at least some of whom would be considering becoming a disciple.
He made that promise to us!
Compared to our love for Him – our feelings for our family and loved ones would look like hate.
But that doesn’t mean literal hate.
Like we saw – even the one lost sheep (any one of those family members that we hate by comparison) – is loved by Jesus.
He cares about all of them. As should we. But not to the point where we end up condemning ourselves because of our love for someone else.
The False Assumption
And that shows the false assumption.
We do not have to abandon anyone that we “leave” in order to save ourselves.
We can still pray for them. And we should.
We can still be part of their lives – up to a point where is doesn’t affect our own salvation – and doesn’t affect the salvation of others who see us. And we should.
Jesus did both of these things for people who obviously weren’t following God’s commands.
Remember the verses from Luke –
Lk 15:1 Now the tax collectors and “sinners” were all gathering around to hear him. 2 But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”
Jesus didn’t abandon the sinners – not even the tax collectors, who were Jews working for the Roman government and cheating other Jews in the process.
And if He didn’t abandon them – why should we?
Jesus tried to do what we would today call – convert them.
The problem is – we feel like we shouldn’t convert them.
Depending on the issue and our relationship with the person – it may even be illegal.
We’re told we should coexist.
We’re told that each person can do what’s right for them.
We’re even told by some religious leaders (including Christians) that God’s OK with whatever the issue is about.
But – Jesus never said any of that.
However – we were warned about this by Jeremiah.
Jer 9:3 “They make ready their tongue
like a bow, to shoot lies;
it is not by truth
that they triumph in the land.
They go from one sin to another;
they do not acknowledge me,”
declares the LORD.
Jer 9:4 “Beware of your friends;
do not trust your brothers.
For every brother is a deceiver,
and every friend a slanderer.
Jer 9:5 Friend deceives friend,
and no one speaks the truth.
They have taught their tongues to lie;
they weary themselves with sinning.
Jer 9:6 You live in the midst of deception;
in their deceit they refuse to acknowledge me,”
declares the LORD.
Jer 9:7 Therefore this is what the LORD Almighty says:
“See, I will refine and test them,
for what else can I do
because of the sin of my people?
Jer 9:8 Their tongue is a deadly arrow;
it speaks with deceit.
With his mouth each speaks cordially to his neighbor,
but in his heart he sets a trap for him.
Jer 9:9 Should I not punish them for this?”
declares the LORD.
“Should I not avenge myself
on such a nation as this?”
All of the things Jeremiah warned about are just as true today as they were back then.
And look what God says –
Jer 9:7 Therefore this is what the LORD Almighty says:
“See, I will refine and test them,
for what else can I do
because of the sin of my people?
Indeed – what else can He do?
We are a rebellious people.
In spite of all the warnings – we do what we know in our hearts we should not do.
We would rather take a risk with God than to speak truth to people we supposedly love and care about.
But would not honesty be the better path to showing love and caring?
Conclusion
No – God hasn’t changed His mind.
We have changed our minds.
Where we used to love God – worship Him – want to spend eternity with Him –
now – we are changing our minds. We pretend to love and worship Him.
We think He either won’t notice that we’re faking it – or won’t care that we’re lying to Him.
But the simple reality –
the simple question we need to ask ourselves is this –
Would we rather change our minds, pretend God changed His, lie to Him –
and therefore go to Hell with our family, friends, and loved ones who brought our lives to this point?
Or would we rather be honest – and work towards all of us being in Heaven together?
image from oneclimbs.com