Life with cancer – from patience to trust and hope. I knew it was going to happen. The only question was when. After prostate removal, the biopsy showed my cancer was more aggressive than previous biopsies indicated. It also showed more cancer than what was expected. Finally, it also showed what’s known as cancer cells on both margins. That means there were cancer cells on both ends of what was removed. With all that, the chances of total removal were pretty much zero. And so, it was a question of waiting for what was nearly inevitable. The inevitable happened.
Life with cancer - from patience to trust and hope is article #6 in the series: Do not waste your cancer. Click button to view titles for entire series
After the surgery, PSA numbers dropped quickly. It wasn’t long before it was 0.008. That’s undetectable where I’m going. Not that there’s no cancer. But if there is any, they can’t see it.
In that waiting period, it’s a combination of patience and hope. Patience, waiting to see if the number goes up or not. And hope that it won’t.
Does God heal everyone today?
As a Christian, of course, there was prayer. We read about all the healing in the Bible. Several years ago I wrote The Problem of “Does God still heal”? (or Not). It’s an older format and kind of needs to be redone, but the message is still there, regardless of how it looks.
You may remember, in the Bible Jesus healed everyone. There’s a really good book, titled And He healed them all, by Jeffrey McClain Jones. There are several books with similar titles. This one’s a novel and it’s quite good.
In any case, one of the problems with some Christians is that they expect God to heal everyone. And if you weren’t healed, it was because you didn’t have enough faith. There’s really no basis for that belief. And yet, the idea persists in some churches.
If we take one verse from one passage and ignore everything else, we can possibly conclude that a lack of faith yields a lack of healing. However, if you’ve read very much from me, you know, pulling one verse from any passage is rarely, if ever, a good thing to do. Context matters! And so do the language and the culture of the time.
I was going to include a segment on the alleged link between the lack of faith and the lack of healing. But it got too long. So, I took it out of here and put this one on hold while I wrote that one. It’s available at Is strong Christian faith needed before God will heal us? I highly recommend it, especially if you’ve heard, or especially been told, that God won’t heal you unless you’ve got enough faith. Why? Because the conclusion drawn from a statement like that is, if God doesn’t heal you, it’s your fault! And that’s just plain not true. The totality of passages in the Bible on this subject just doesn’t support that line of thinking!
Going through something like cancer is hard enough. We don’t need to be told we’re to blame for it, or for it not being healed. We Christians are told by Jesus to be loving. How is it loving to tell someone, you’re sick, and it’s your fault you’re still sick?
Anyone who hears that, or believes it, should also read what happened when the Jews in Nazareth rejected Jesus. Pay special attention to verse 23, underlined below.
Jesus Rejected at Nazareth
Lk 4:14 Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. 15 He taught in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.
Lk 4:16 He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. 17 The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
Lk 4:18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
Lk 4:19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Lk 4:20 Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, 21 and he began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”
Lk 4:22 All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips. “Isn’t this Joseph’s son?” they asked.
Lk 4:23 Jesus said to them, “Surely you will quote this proverb to me: ‘Physician, heal yourself! Do here in your hometown what we have heard that you did in Capernaum.’ ”
Lk 4:24 “I tell you the truth,” he continued, “no prophet is accepted in his hometown. 25 I assure you that there were many widows in Israel in Elijah’s time, when the sky was shut for three and a half years and there was a severe famine throughout the land. 26 Yet Elijah was not sent to any of them, but to a widow in Zarephath in the region of Sidon. 27 And there were many in Israel with leprosy in the time of Elisha the prophet, yet not one of them was cleansed—only Naaman the Syrian.”
Lk 4:28 All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. 29 They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him down the cliff. 30 But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way.
Life with cancer – from patience to trust and hope
With that said, and in our minds, let’s proceed. The title is Life with cancer – from patience to trust and hope. If taken literally, it gives the impression that before the test result came back positive again, I was just patiently waiting, with no trust and no hope required. Furthermore, it might give the impression that after the new test result, that patience isn’t needed anymore. Of course, that’s not true at all.
It’s a matter of emphasis. Any time we’re on active surveillance, we must trust God and remind ourselves of the Hope we have in Him. That’s an essential part of Christian life at any point in time. However, it becomes ever more essential as stress levels rise. And few things bring on stress like the “C” word – cancer.
But, while we’re waiting to see if it’s going to get better or worse, or return in this case, lots of patience is needed. At least it was for me. I have trouble with depression, even on some good days. Stress goes up. Much patience is needed.
Moving from patience to trust and hope
But somehow, knowing that the cancer is back is different. I’m not waiting to see if it returns. It’s back. It’s here. And now my focus must change.
There’s still a bit of waiting. But it’s a different kind of wait. Now, I keep getting tested to see when, not if, the concentration level is high enough that a location for the cancer cells can be detected. Then treatment begins. And I’m pretty sure my focus will change again. But this is now. And I guess I need to focus on that. Spending time worrying about what may or may not happen later is stressful and depressing. And didn’t Jesus tell us that?
Moving from stress and depression to what truly matters
What mattered to Matthew about not worrying
Do Not Worry – Matthew
6:25-33 pp — Lk 12:22-31
Mt 6:25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
Mt 6:28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
In Matthew’s Gospel, we read Jesus telling us, Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. And it’s certainly true. Good advice.
What mattered to Luke about not worrying
But then, we look at Luke. The doctor. And Luke adds something else.
Do Not Worry – Luke
12:22-31 pp — Mt 6:25-33
Lk 12:22 Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
Lk 12:27 “Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
Lk 12:32 “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Notice, Luke wrote: Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
Once again, so true. And such good advice.
What matters to me about not worrying
We see here one of the “problems” with only reading one Gospel. Or one verse on pretty much any topic. We don’t get the full picture. Then, what happens? We also don’t get the full view of God. We don’t get to understand just how much He loves us. And we don’t get the full benefit of putting out trust and hope in Him.
I normally look to Matthew first, because I like to get His Jewish perspective on things. Then I can go back to the Old Testament to see if there’s background, more context, and the like that people in Jesus’ time would have known, but we don’t.
But here, Luke’s additional words are something I need. His points about how we can’t add even one hour to our lives. And how we can’t even do the “little things”. But now, of course, we do know that we can, in a way, add hours, days, even years, to our lives. And one of the big ways to not stress out!
What matters to you about not worrying
So, what do you get out of what Luke and Matthew wrote? It’s important to go through exercises like this. If we only read the words, but don’t examine them, see what they mean to us, pray to God about them, and listen to what God says back, it’s like – what was the point of reading the Bible in the first place?
The Bible’s not full of nice stories. Or of soap-opera-type tales. It’s real-life experiences from the past, yes. But when we get right down to the core of it all, are our life experiences really any different? Even the ancient Doctor Luke, living two thousand years ago, with so little of the knowledge we have today, and with none of the modern technology, told us about the issues with worrying. The issues with what we now call stress.
Yes, we have much to learn from the Bible. And with everything we learn, we have so much more reason to place our hope and trust in God’s hands.
Sometimes life sucks
In the article about Christian faith and God’s healing, I wrote how sometimes life really sucks. And it does. We may as well be honest about it. God knows how I feel, so why even try to lie to Him?
I had lunch yesterday with our Senior Pastor from church. We were at a Mexican restaurant. My normal order is veggie enchiladas with rice and refried beans. The veggie thing started after I was told to get my cholesterol down. It worked, for a while. Now it’s back up.
So this time, I asked the waitress if they used lard to make the refried beans. Of course, they do. I said something about how I can’t eat them anymore, so can I get double rice instead? She suggested a side salad instead. So what did I get by acknowledging that I really wanted those refried beans with the lard, but couldn’t have them? I got a better choice. The dish looked and tasted great. Silence on my part would have meant enchiladas and lots of rice. Not as appealing to the eyes or the taste buds.
Why mention all that? Quality of life. If you’re a regular reader here, you know we’ve had dogs. Plenty of dogs. Our current one, Mikey, is the sixth. I’ve learned so much about my life and my relationship with God and with other people by watching the relationships between me and the four-legged kids.
One of the other things my wife and I learned about was quality of life. For them. Sherlock Holmes lived for five years with pancreatitis. Professor Moriarty developed internal bleeding when he was 17 years old. He was not treated because of his advanced age and the severity of surgery if we chose that route. Dewey lived for about eight months with lymphoma that eventually went to his brain. Donnie lived about ten months with acute kidney failure before it got so bad that the meds would be too strong for his little body.
Notice, I put in the timeframes for each of them with their health problems. That’s because of the point I want to make about quality of life. We considered the quality of life for all four of them. It’s a tradeoff between treating them and the quality of life they have with each treatment. As long as they still enjoyed life, we continued treatment.
We’ve been blessed to be able to afford what we did, although I guess some people would do more than what we did. However, I fear that can cross a line between our own desires to keep them alive and their quality of life.
If you’d lie to check out all of this. please see the series, Learning from a dog.
Quality of life versus life sucks (for people)
I often thought we should treat people more like we treat animals when it comes to severe illness. Holmes and Moriarty were brothers, literally. Same litter. They came into the world together. And they left together. Same day, same time. It’s because the vet, even more than 15 years ago, spoke with us about quality of life.
I was surprised when my oncologist wanted to talk about quality of life for me. I always thought that with cancer, they throw everything at it and hope for the best. Yes, the radiation will probably mess up parts of the body that used to work just fine and don’t have cancer cells in them. But the goal is to kill the cancer, no matter what. And yes, chemo’s going to mess you up for however long it takes to kill the cancer. I had two friends tell me, whatever you do, don’t get radiation! Well, I guess even that’s not what it used to be either.
So she asked me, do I want to try to eradicate the cancer right away or am I more interested in what I call quality of life? She had a long explanation of it, but I asked if that’s what it boiled down to – quality of life? She said yes.
Trying to get rid of it right away meant radiation. It would be in the area where the prostate used to be. The question is whether or not that’s where the cancer cells are now? No one knows. And different portions of the body can tolerate different amounts of radiation. So the risks are at least two-fold. Is the location the correct one? And just how much radiation is the right amount? Go for the kill with some amount of collateral damage? Or try to do as little collateral damage as possible and hope the radiation level was high enough to kill the cancer cells?
The other alternative is to wait. Go back on active surveillance. Then, when the blood tests show a certain concentration of cancer cells, they can do scans to locate the cancer. After that, depending on where it is, how much, is it still medium to highly aggressive, Etc, different treatment options are on the table.
Ultimately, I chose the latter. My wife agrees. Quality of life. And in the meantime, I can work on exercise, what I eat (I’ll be seeing a nutritionist at the cancer hospital for that), supplements that may help (with oncologist approval), and of course, keeping my hope and trust in God along with trying to rest in His peace.
I hope you choose to read, or already read, the article on faith and healing. It explains why I chose what I did. And it also explains that healing or not, my goal is to bring glory to God through this time. It’s in line with John Piper’s book, Don’t waste your cancer, which was the inspiration for this series and for how I hope to deal with my cancer.
Conclusion – Life with cancer – from patience to trust and hope
So, with that, I now enter the next three months of waiting for new test results. Three months of trying to eat healthier. Trying to get more exercise. Hopefully Mikey can help me with some of that. And three months of trying to be honest with myself and with God about what’s going on. Finally, of trying to keep my hope, my trust, and my faith in Him.
I do get numbers on how many people at least start to read this stuff I write. How many finish? I don’t have a clue. How many get something out of it? I really don’t know, since I don’t get a lot of comments back.
But I will say this to those of you who did read this far. I was going to include a verse from something Paul wrote. Of course, the whole passage would be there for context. However, I decided to include it, but also to dedicate it to you, my readers. Why? Because the truth is, while I can hope that some of you need what I write to help you, I need you just as much, to help me.
Thanksgiving and Prayer
Phil 1:3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Phil 1:7 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. 8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
Phil 1:9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
May God complete the good work He started in all of us. And may we allow Him to do that, in His way.
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay