Does God always give us what we want? The first version of this had a slightly shorter title. Someone asked, after reading it, whether the answer was yes or no. This time, I’ll give the answer away right upfront. It’s right there in the title. It depends. This means, therefore, the answer is no! Without even getting into the condition(s) upon which “it depends”, the answer must be no, since there is, in fact, at least one condition. Let’s find out about that condition.
What you read above is my new opening, here in January 2022. Here’s the original, from back in June 2018.
Does God always give us what we want? There are certainly those who say the answer is yes. Especially if we have enough faith. I got an email the other day with this passage from the Bible:
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.
That sounds like God will always give us what we want – doesn’t it? The thing is – that email came from biblegateway.com. Surely, this isn’t what they meant to say – is it?
Is God really the ultimate gift dispenser – giving us our every desire?
Or is something missing?
Now, here’s the updated version of the remainder of that original article. Hopefully, I’ve learned something over the past three and a half years. Years where sometimes I got what I wanted. But sometimes I didn’t. Other times I clearly got what I didn’t want! And then there’s the times when I got something out of the blue. Well, out of the blue to me. But not to God. So, let’s see how this comes out.
Does God always give us what we want? – Does the Bible say He does?
Sorry for the trick questions, sort of. The answer to both questions is no.
However, the quote really is from the Bible. It’s from the section the NIV calls Concluding Remarks, in 1 John. Here’s the passage again, with verse numbers included. Normally, I don’t give verses without context. But, in this case, I am. For a short time. We’ll get to the full passage shortly.
But! Here’s the It depends part.
1Jn 5:14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.
Hang on a minute. Did you catch the part about “according to His will”?
That begs the question – what is His will?
For some, it’s whatever we want, as long as we have enough faith. You can read about a sometimes claimed link between faith and healing in The Problem of Healing (or Not).
For others, God wants us to be happy, so it’s whatever makes us happy. You can read about the so-called “prosperity gospel” in Searching for hope – but not finding it?.
Just based on those two examples, you can probably guess that what we think is God’s will may more likely be our will, not His at all.
Does God always give us what we want?
Obviously (hopefully it’s becoming obvious at least) the answer is no – God does not always give us what we want.
We already saw that God gives according to His will – not ours. But – there’s more.
Let’s look at that 1 John passage in context. It’s part of a section the NIV titles Concluding Remarks. As such, it sounds like just a collection of random thoughts at the end of the letter. But let’s not dismiss it so easily. Let’s see if/how they all impact our look at the title question today – Does God always give us what we want? That depends.
Concluding Remarks – 1 John
1Jn 5:13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.
Here’s my original comment on the verses from 1 John. It’s extremely short compared to what I just finished writing on the entire passage for this update.
Oh. Now we’ve added you who believe in the name of the Son of God. Well, that certainly changes things. I recently published Being a real Christian isn’t easy. You do not want to leave too, do you? which goes into some detail about the difference between those who have some measure of belief about Jesus, as compared to those who actually believe in Jesus. The people in the latter group are the ones who do things in their lives because of their beliefs. Furthermore, that belief is really based on the Bible – not someone’s version of what they think the Bible really means – as opposed to what it says it means. It’s real belief – and real action because of that.
Now, let’s break down these verses.
1Jn 5:13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.
The first verse lets us know that what follows is not for literally everyone. I said earlier that there were conditions to the idea that God gives us everything we want. Here’s one of them.
What we’re about to read in this section is meant only for believers. And then, not everyone who claims to be a believer. Rather, for everyone who truly is a believer. Someone who follows Jesus in the manner of what that words we read as “believe” actually meant in Jesus’ time. And, I submit, still means today. For more on that, please check out Are we supposed to Believe God, Believe in God or Follow God? I truly ray you read it. Sadly, it gets into something we don’t often hear in enough churches.
14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.
Now we see another condition. Not only is this passage for true believers in Christ, but it’s also when we ask anything according to his will. We’re getting further and further from the idea that God will give us whatever we want.
1Jn 5:16 If anyone sees his brother commit a sin that does not lead to death, he should pray and God will give him life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that he should pray about that. 17 All wrongdoing is sin, and there is sin that does not lead to death.
Wow. This is why we need to read the Bible over and over. And I don’t mean speed read to check off the box that says we faithfully read it through every year. No – I mean that we faithfully read the Bible with the goal of learning about God’s word.
I just noticed something in here that’s never really hit me before. My head’s a bit thick. Sometimes it’s not easy for things to get through. But I’ve read, and written about, this passage many times before. And I’ve written about the subject of this passage. And yet, I never put the two together before tonight.
What the heck am I talking about? This: There is a sin that leads to death. I even wrote about that earlier today.
What is that unforgivable sin? Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Paul seems to include grieving the Holy Spirit. That could include, at some point, ignoring the Holy Spirit so often, consistently, and thoroughly, that we end up quenching the Holy Spirit. Putting out the fire, in reference to the Pentecost – the event in the upper room when the Holy Spirit was first given to the Apostles.
In light of our present topic, it may be significant. But let’s just hold that thought for now.
Wow, again, Can’t believe I never “saw” this before. Must be a reason for it coming tonight.
1Jn 5:18 We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him.
OK – this is one to be careful with. … anyone born of God does not continue to sin. There’s no way that can be taken literally, And yet, unless we take the larger context of what John wrote in this letter, and the context of the New Testament overall, that’s exactly the conclusion one can reach. It should be taken as:
18. Whatsoever is born of God sinneth not reiterates the principle which has been stated in many different ways throughout the book, that if a person is genuinely born of God (Gr gennaō is used in the perfect tense), he will not live in sin (Gr hamartanō is used in the present tense to imply a life characterized by sin, rather than an isolated act of sin). John again plays upon the word born by using it to refer to Christ; he that is begotten of God keepeth himself should rather be translated, “The One who was born of God keeps him.” It is because Christ keeps the believer that the evil one cannot touch him. 1Hindson, E. E., & Kroll, W. M., eds. (1994). KJV Bible Commentary (pp. 2639–2640). Thomas Nelson.
It’s very similar to what I mentioned about grieving the Holy Spirit earlier. At some point, even though we receive the Holy Spirit at baptism, if we continually ignore the Spirit’s nudgings and warnings, we are headed for trouble.
That reminds me, it’s a good idea to say something about the Holy Spirit here. That adds some further context to what I’m saying in regard to grieving Him.
Jesus promises The Holy Spirit
Jn 14:15 “If you love me, you will obey what I command. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”
Jn 14:22 Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”
Jn 14:23 Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. 24 He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.
Jn 14:25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Jn 14:28 “You heard me say, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. 29 I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe. 30 I will not speak with you much longer, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold on me, 31 but the world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded me.
“Come now; let us leave.”
We can see a lot about the Holy Spirit in there. And lots of opportunities for us to ignore Him. And, the danger of living a life without Him, which can lead to grieving the Holy Spirit.
It’s interesting how things happen. And when. Without the realization of what verse 16 was saying about the “unforgivable sin”, I would not have written much of what you just read. It wasn’t in the first version. I can only chalk it up to 26 But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. In other words, give credit where credit is due.
After all that, let’s take a look at the verse as a whole:
1Jn 5:18 We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him.
We now realize what it says, in its full context. A true follower of Christ does not live a life characterized by sin. We can do that only because we listen to the Holy Spirit, at least most of the time. After all, only Jesus is perfect. Further, it is Jesus that keeps us safe from the evil one. And, to keep things in the context of the Bible as a whole, safe refers to our eternal souls, not to every event of our life. After all, we do know God allows things to happen to grow our faith. And there are consequences for some actions as well.
19 We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.
These are restatements of things we’ve already read, and they set up what’s coming next.
20 We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true—even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.
1Jn 5:21 Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.
Idols. Some of the things that can keep us from being children of God.
I’ll expand this thought later, but what we should realize at this point, God wants to give us what we want, because He wants our will to match His. Our desires to match His. This means We will ask for the things He wants us to ask for.
To love – or not to love
There’s something else in 1 John that gives us an idea of whether or not what we’re asking for is God’s will – or ours.
Do Not Love the World
1Jn 2:15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.
That’s a pretty good way for us to test the things we want to ask for. What do we want? Why do we want it? And if the thing(s) we want is for this life and this world – it’s our will. It sounds easy. But then, it’s also easy to convince ourselves that when we’re “rewarded” with things we want, that God must be pleased with us and that’s why we got them. It’s harder to realize that maybe, just maybe, we got something as a test of faith meant to grow us.
God’s love and ours
To continue that thought – we also should look at the differences between God’s love – and our love.
God’s Love and Ours
1Jn 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
God’s love isn’t a better version of our love. The “love” that we have is but a shadow of God’s love. If it wasn’t for God’s love for us, we wouldn’t even have the slightest clue what love is.
1Jn 4:13 We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
This is so basic. And yet, so important. And often not really accepted. Without this, we are still clueless as to the true meaning of love.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17 In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
I think we often have fear in human love. Fear that the one we love will hurt us. Fear that they will leave us. Or take advantage of us. And all too often, that’s exactly what happens. Even if it’s not intentional, it happens. Because our love is such a pale shadow of God’s love for us.
Unfortunately, experiences like that make it difficult to trust God’s love for us. And therefore, for us to love God in return.
1Jn 4:19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Again – even the little bit of love that we do understand comes to us through God’s love for us. And if we love the way He does – then there’s no room for hating each other.
I recently did an article titled Whoever loves God must also love his brother and sister. It goes into much greater depth about the God’s love and ours passage. I recommend checking it out if you haven’t yet read it. A deeper understanding of the passage should help to understand today’s topic as well.
Putting it all together – Does God always give us what we want?
And so – considering all of this, the answer to the question of Does God always give us what we want? has to be no.
I repeat – it has to be no!
It’s because God loves us that He cannot give us everything we want. If God gave us everything we wanted, then we would see Him as that magic gift giver. The one who satisfies all of our desires. No matter what they are. And when He gives us those things we desire for evil purposes, things that would keep us from loving Him for who He really is, then God becomes the one who performs evil. God would be the one who leads us to Hell.
Well, He could be doing evil. But that’s not possible. Here’s something lifted from Was Judas saved? Did God love him enough to forgive him?
God can do anything, can’t He? Actually, no, God cannot do literally anything. For instance, God cannot make a square circle. A square circle is an oxymoron. A square and a circle are two very different things. By definition, there’s no such thing as a square circle. So, even God can’t make a square circle.
God also cannot do things that are against His nature.
Since God is love, and God is good, He cannot do evil. That means the scenario of God giving us everything we wanted, knowing full well we’d see Him as something like a magic genie, It just won’t happen.
Conclusion – Does God always give us what we want? That depends.
So we see – for a very real reason, God cannot give us everything we want.
We must try to line up our view of love with His, and act accordingly. And in the same way, we must try to line up our will with His, and ask accordingly. Both of these require the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. And that we actually listen to the Holy Spirit as He guides us through this life.
Notice – I said “try”. We will never fully succeed. Not this side of Heaven, anyway. But the better we become at listening, loving, and trying to do God’s will, the closer we come to what John wrote.
… that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.
Footnotes
- 1Hindson, E. E., & Kroll, W. M., eds. (1994). KJV Bible Commentary (pp. 2639–2640). Thomas Nelson.