It’s Monday of radiation treatment week seven. I can see the finish line. Nine more sessions to go. And yet, it feels like that makes it harder. I think it’s called impatience.
Radiation treatment week seven - I can see the finish line is article #25 in the series: Do not waste your cancer. Click button to view titles for entire seriesMaybe you noticed, I haven’t written anything since last Monday. Too tired.
I know part of it’s because the treatment changed. It’s more focused. But I feel like part of it’s also because it finally ends on Thursday of next week.
When we start something big and important, there’s either fear or excitement. Either way, adrenaline. Extra energy to get through whatever’s coming.
For Christians, there’s God. Specifically, the Holy Spirit. Paul wrote about what we call the fruit of the spirit. Things we have when our lives follow the Holy Spirit.
Life by the Spirit
Gal 5:16 So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
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Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Years ago, I knew I didn’t really feel them as I thought they should be. Some friends told me that, of course I did. I can say for sure now, I didn’t. Over the past several years, I’ve truly come to know what things like peace and joy from God really are. They are how I got through the first six weeks.
But now, my physical strength is much less than before. I slept a lot this past weekend. And I’m still tired. But not so tired I don’t realize happening.
Another thing the Holy Spirit does is remind us of things we know.
Jesus told us a number of things about the Holy Spirit on one occasion, while telling His disciples that He was about to be put to death. Some of the passage below is about Him leaving soon, but I included the entire passage for context. The part I referenced is underlined.
Jesus Promises The Holy Spirit
Jn 14:15 “If you love me, you will obey what I command. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”
Jn 14:22 Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”
Jn 14:23 Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. 24 He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.
Jn 14:25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Jn 14:28 “You heard me say, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. 29 I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe. 30 I will not speak with you much longer, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold on me, 31 but the world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded me.
“Come now; let us leave.”
The reminder from the Holy Spirit is in verse 26.
Hang in there – don’t lose focus
Verse 27 is one of two versed I remember from when I was a little kid. One of two that kept me going back to God, even at times when I was very angry with Him. Why? Because I wanted those promises kept.
And so, it’s the joy and the peace that I know I can have. And it’s the other verse, about a father who loved me.
Now, here in week 7, when I’m tired, the reminder comes.
One of my favorite books in the Bible is Revelation. Especially the seen letters to the seven churches. There’s a section in two of the letters that I’m reminded of now. Here they are – minus the overall context, because it’s just the one thought that’s important for today.
To the Church in Thyatira
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25 Only hold on to what you have until I come.
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and
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To the Church in Philadelphia
Rev 3:11 I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown.
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Conclusion – Radiation treatment week seven – I can see the finish line
Yeah – hold on.
Yes, the end is near. But the human thing to do is to get tired, weary, and think about the end too much.
But for me, six years ago, when I was in the hospital, I told God three things.
- If it was time for me to “go home” (to die) – I was ready.
- I think there’s more I can do for God, if He wants me to live longer.
- It’s His choice, not mine. I’m happy either way.
Obviously, I’m still alive.
Maybe not quite so obvious, but if you haven’t noticed, what you’re reading is part of a series called Don’t waste your cancer. Here’s what it’s about.
Don’t waste your cancer. Use it to help others. I wish I could take credit for the title. I borrowed it from a short booklet called “Don’t waste your cancer”, by John Piper. It’s true for more than “just” cancer, not that cancer is a small thing. Rather, my point is that even the way we deal with small problems can help others.
So this is what will be, I pray, a look at my now eight and a half year journey to being “cancer free”. Of course, nothing is guaranteed, but that’s my hope and prayer.
Maybe I should look at this as almost three and a half years in, with a bit over 5 years remaining.
In any case, here’s the thing with the series on cancer, and other things I do now. I didn’t make a deal with God. It wasn’t a case of – if you do this – then I’ll do that. It was I’m happy either way, whichever you want. So it’s more like my reason for being OK with God deciding I can’t go home yet is that I can help other people get to know Him. So if I don’t write, then how am I helping? Writing and teaching are more significant than anything I ever did while I was working.
A quick timeout
Oops. Just got called for my treatment.
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OK – Back home and ready to finish this one.
The break was good. I spent my time in the big fat donut, aka tomograph machine, praying and getting radiated. I prayed about all the stuff I wrote above.
I feel better now. Not because there’s any physical reason. But because it gave me dedicated/uninterrupted time to hear those reminders from the Holy Spirit. And to feel His peace.
And so, now it’s down to 8 treatments remaining. All things considered, it’s going well. Three and a half months from now, we’ll see how effective it was. And see what God has planned for me next.
Image by Siggy Nowak from Pixabay