What is the biggest regret in life for most people?

What is the biggest regret in life for most people?  That’s an important question.  It seems so sad to reach the end of our life, and have some big huge regret.  While it won’t necessarily be the biggest regret in your life, it is worthwhile to see what other people had to say.  Especially if it’s the answer given by 76% of the people in a recent survey. 

the biggest regret in life for most people

Seventy six percent! 

Odds are good that you have the same regret. 

I can honestly say that if I hadn’t done something different in my life about 20 years ago, I probably would have been part of that 76%. 

Now, I have no concerns about that.

Summary

This page discusses the concept of living without regrets, focusing on the importance of fulfilling one’s ideal self rather than conforming to societal expectations. It emphasizes the difference between living a life based on what we “ought to do” versus pursuing our true dreams and aspirations.

Biggest Regret: The most common regret among people, according to a survey, is not fulfilling their ideal self, with 76% of participants expressing this sentiment.

Ideal Self vs. Ought Self: The article distinguishes between the “ideal self” (our dreams and aspirations) and the “ought self” (societal expectations), suggesting that focusing too much on the latter can lead to regrets.

Jesus’ Teachings: The page references Jesus’ teachings on living a fulfilled life, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing one’s ideal self over materialistic pursuits.

Personal Reflection: The author shares their personal journey, highlighting that despite challenges and depression, they have no regrets due to living a life aligned with their values and beliefs.

Embracing Life to the Fullest: The journey to fulfilling our ideal self is not about accumulating wealth or adhering strictly to societal expectations. It’s about prioritizing our aspirations and dreams, and finding contentment in the simplicity of life as taught by Jesus. By focusing on spiritual growth and inner fulfillment, we can avoid the common regret of not living up to our potential. Ultimately, living a life aligned with our values and beliefs leads to a profound sense of satisfaction and a life lived to the full.

What is the biggest regret in life for most people?

In surveying the responses of hundreds of participants in six studies, the researchers found that, when asked to name their single biggest regret in life, 76 percent of participants said it was not fulfilling their ideal self.

That quote is from an article in the lifestyle section of msn.com.

Not fulfilling their ideal self.  That’s actually not surprising at all.  What’s really regrettable is that we often don’t realize that we haven’t fulfilled our ideal self until it’s too late to do anything about it.  Or so we think.  We see ourselves as the person in the image above. Walking off into the fog.  Alone.  Too old to do anything truly fulfilling.

How to avoid regret

The article continues:

This indicates that we might have a flawed attitude toward how to avoid regret. We live in a world in which we are told that we’ll have a great life if we follow the rules. So you figure that if you do all of the things that society expects of you—act like a good citizen, get married at the appropriate time, make enough money to pay the bills—that you’ll feel happy and fulfilled with your life.

OK, we may have a flawed attitude about how to avoid regret.  We do live in a world where lots of people are ready to tell us how to be happy.  Maybe it’s follow the rules. Or, these days, to not follow the rules.  Maybe it’s what to buy.  Maybe it’s how much money we need.  But really, is it the attitude about how to avoid regret?  That seems like a negative way to achieve our ideal self.  Wouldn’t it be better to find something that really will lead to ideal self fulfillment, rather than trying to avoid not being self fulfilled?

Maybe it’s just me, but that avoidance solution seems wrong.

Ought to do versus want to do

In any case, the article continues:

But those are all qualities associated with your ought self, which the study found people have limited regrets about (in part because they actually act on decisions associated with it). But when it comes to your dreams and aspirations, people are more likely to let them just drift by unrealized, and that’s what really stings later in life.

I think that last part is the key:  when it comes to your dreams and aspirations, people are more likely to let them just drift by unrealized

I believe the problem is, for many of us, we spend too much time and effort on the “ought to” items in life.  Even for me, who didn’t live the “ought to” way, I don’t regret the choices I made.  I didn’t go for the highest paying job.  I went for, and stayed with, something I enjoyed.  However, there’s still a “but” that goes with that no regret statement.

If I could have a do-over for anything in my life, I’d change, are you ready, nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Not that it’s been a great life.  It hasn’t.  But, I like where I am right now.  If I changed even one small thing, maybe I’d be in a different place now.  Maybe I wouldn’t like it.  But because of everything that’s happened, I know there won’t be regrets.  Especially not with the biggest regret in life for most people.

That’s not to say I feel this way 100% of the time. I mean, I suffer from depression. There are plenty of times when I’d just as soon not even be alive. But then, when I bring myself to seriously consider the question, no regrets.

How can I know there will be no regrets?

Truth is, is actually quite simple.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

That’s from Jesus.  Life to the full.  If the biggest regret in life for most people is not fulfilling their ideal self – what more could we ask for than life to the full?  Especially since it’s life to the full from our Creator. We’ll get more into the context of this statement shortly, but let’s look at some other things first.

Obviously, since 76% of us have a less than fulfilling life as the biggest regret in our life, we’re not doing a very good job of making our own choices in that regard.  Furthermore, since the survey tends to indicate that we spend too much time on the “ought to” things that other people tell us to do to be happy, then it appears to be a priority problem.  It’s our messed up ideas of what’s important that keep us from feeling like we lived to our potential ideal self.

To that end, consider some of the other things Jesus said.

In a section the NIV subtitles Do Not worry, we see Jesus making some very pointed statements that are aimed at this very issue.

Do Not Worry – Matthew

Mt 6:25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?

Mt 6:28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Jesus talks about not worrying.  Worry is a huge priority wrecker.  We want to spend more time with family.  But we wait until after we have enough money to be comfortable.  Or maybe we don’t even want to marry or have a family until after we have enough money. 

We can see from Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol how well that worked out for Ebenezer Scrooge.  It doesn’t work out well for us either.  Especially if we never have what we consider “enough” money.  Or if we get so deep into our work, which often happens, that our desire to keep the money coming prevents us from having anything but the job as priority one.

Paul added to these thought on money in one of his letters:

Love of Money

1Ti 6:3 If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, 4 he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 5 and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.

1Ti 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9 People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

Temptation – and a trap.  Yes, for many things.  Including convincing us that having more money, more things, more satisfaction directly or indirectly from having money, is the most important thing.  But it’s not true.

Note that Jesus didn’t say don’t work.  He didn’t say not to have a job and take care of ourselves and our families.  Beyond that, He also talked about taking care of others.  So the job issue – in and of itself – isn’t the problem.  It’s when worry takes over that we begin to have troubles.

Likewise, Paul did not say that money is the root of all evil.  For some reason, many people seem to think that’s what he said.  But what he really said is “love of money is a root of all kinds of evil“.  Not money – but the love of money.  And not all evil, but all kinds of evil.  And not “the” root, but “a” root – one of many.

So the message from Jesus and Paul is – don’t worry about not having the best of things.  Or not having huge surpluses of money and things.  And don’t get sucked into making the desire for more become our number one priority.

However, the message from the survey seems to be that way too many of us do exactly that!  We don’t realize, until it’s too late, that our priorities kept us from have less than an ideal self at the end of our lives.  Another way to say that is what Jesus said, that we did not have life to the full.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Let’s add just a little context to that first statement from Jesus.  We’ll finish the verse.

Jn 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

So Jesus is contrasting Himself with the thief, who comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  The thief is the one who is trying to prevent us from have that ideal self that we can be happy with at the end of our lives.  Actually – we can be happy with that ideal self during our lives as well.  All it takes is to start working on becoming the ideal self.  If you haven’t started yet – right now is an excellent time.

Jesus explains this in terms of a shepherd and his flock.  That was a good explanation in its time.  Everyone would have understood it.  But now, some explanation is probably in order.  After all, lots of people have never even seen a herd of sheep, let alone know what’s involved in taking care of them.

The literal shepherd pursued, and still pursues, an exacting calling, one as old as Abel (Gn. 4:2).

Let’s take a quick look at Cain and Abel:

Cain and Abel

Ge 4:1 Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man.” 2 Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.
Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. 3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. 4 But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

Ge 4:6 Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”

Ge 4:8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

Since we’re talking about the ideal self – living a fulfilled life – this sounds like a bit of a problem.  Abel did the right thing for God.  He brought the best portions from some of the firstborn of his flock.  However, Cain was a different story.  Cain brought “some of the fruits”.  Not some of the first fruits of the season.  And not even some of the best.  Just some. 

This begs a question, since we’re looking at living as the ideal self.  Who lived “the better” life?  Cain – because he lived longer?  Or Abel because he made the better offering to The LORD.  How we answer that question says a lot about whether or not we might end up with the people described by the title – sharing the biggest regret in life – not living as the ideal self.

He must find grass and water in a dry and stony land (Ps. 23:2), protect his charges from weather and from fiercer creatures (cf. Am. 3:12), and retrieve any strayed animal (Ezk. 34:8; Mt. 18:12, etc.). When his duties carried him far from human haunts, a bag held his immediate necessities (1 Sa. 17:40, 49), and a tent might be his dwelling (Ct. 1:8). He might use dogs to assist him, like his modern counterpart (Jb. 30:1).

Clearly, this is not an easy job.  Being a shepherd is hard work.  It requires the care and feeding of the flock – as well as protection.  On top of that, when one of the sheep wanders off, the shepherd has to go retrieve it.  That task is hard enough, but with making sure that no others wander off while the shepherd is gone – it gets exponentially harder.  Add hard living conditions to that, as well as the ultimate minimalist approach to life where everything must fit in a bag – and things just got even harder.  Not an easy job at all.

When shepherds and flocks take up their more permanent abode in any city, this is a mark of depopulation and disaster through divine judgment (Je. 6:3; 33:12; Zp. 2:13–15).

We scoff at an idea like this today.  When cities empty out, it’s for various reasons – but few would have the nerve to say it was Divine judgment. 

And yet – why couldn’t it be exactly that?  Boom cities turn into bust cities, often because of greed.  Get as much money as possible.  Take that money and run.  Leave the unfortunate ones behind.  Go create another boom city that will also turn into bust city.  Does that kind of greed not deserve Divine judgment?

These days we just call it urban blight and ignore it.  Corporations leave.  Those people who can also leave.  Then Gangs move in.  Nature takes over.  Ghost towns are born.  But nothing’s done.  There’s no real concern.  Instead of shepherds coming to town to graze their sheep – we have other things.  And we think nothing of God maybe being concerned about His people that got lost in the bust. 

Maybe we could learn from the knowledge the Old Testament people had?  Probably not.  We’re too “smart” for that kind of knowledge.  For more on “knowledge”, please see Can I trust what I think I know?

The shepherd on duty was liable to make restitution for any sheep lost (Gn. 31:39), unless he could effectively plead circumstances beyond his foresight or control (Ex. 22:10–13).

If things weren’t bad enough, the shepherd has to pay for any lost sheep.  Except for certain circumstances:

Protection of Property

Ex 22:10 “If a man gives a donkey, an ox, a sheep or any other animal to his neighbor for safekeeping and it dies or is injured or is taken away while no one is looking, 11 the issue between them will be settled by the taking of an oath before the LORD that the neighbor did not lay hands on the other person’s property. The owner is to accept this, and no restitution is required. 12 But if the animal was stolen from the neighbor, he must make restitution to the owner. 13 If it was torn to pieces by a wild animal, he shall bring in the remains as evidence and he will not be required to pay for the torn animal.

Notice the part about the wild animal.  If one of the sheep was killed by a wild animal, the shepherd could bring back the remains and not be liable for the cost of that sheep. 

But remember – the shepherd was expected to protect the sheep under his care from wild animals.  Whether or not the shepherd chooses to fight off the wild animal or merely to bring in the remains says a lot about the shepherd.

Ideally the shepherd should be strong, devoted and selfless, as many of them were.

No kidding.  Every time we read a little bit more about the expectations of the shepherd, the job requirements just get harder and harder.

But ruffians were sometimes found in an honourable profession (Ex. 2:17, 19), and some shepherds inevitably failed in their duty (Zc. 11, passim; Na. 3:18; Is. 56:11, etc.).  1Stewart, R. A. (1996). Shepherd. In D. R. W. Wood, I. H. Marshall, A. R. Millard, J. I. Packer, & D. J. Wiseman (Eds.), New Bible dictionary (3rd ed., p. 1093). Leicester, England; Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

Now we begin to get a feel for when Jesus talks about the thief, as opposed to Himself.  We’ll see even more when we finish filling in the context of the comparison between Jesus and the thief who comes to destroy.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.  — with full context

The questions about how to live as the ideal self now become more clear.  We’ll look at this in terms of who to listen to for advice:  the good shepherd or the bad shepherd.  Jesus.  Or the thief. 

There really are only two choices.  As much as we might like to pretend there’s no such things as good and evil – they are real.  As might as we might claim there are only shades of gray – anything that isn’t white – like gray – really isn’t white. 

Anything that takes away from leading a life that we won’t regret – whether that be a shade of gray or outright black – it’s not white.  It’s evil.  Plain and simple.  Don’t make it complicated.  

The Shepherd and His Flock

Jn 10:1 “I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. 2 The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. 3 The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5 But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” 6 Jesus used this figure of speech, but they did not understand what he was telling them.

Jesus makes a distinction between the shepherd and the thief here that most today would not grasp.  As I mentioned, coming across herds of sheep isn’t a common experience in many parts of the world.  But in Jesus’ time – people would have known right away was He was talking about.

his sheep follow him because they know his voice.  Really?  Sheep can recognize a voice?  Yes.  The following still happens in parts of the world where sheep are still herded across open lands:

Jesus referred to well known shepherding techniques: calling to the sheep to lead and guide them, as well as defending them. Today, one can hear shepherds making very distinct sounds akin to whistling, chirping, purring, or other guttural sounds. These sounds are unique to each shepherd and the flocks respond and follow upon hearing the shepherd’s “voice”.  2Alexander, V. H. (2016). The “Good Shepherd” and Other Metaphors of Pastoralism. In B. J. Beitzel & K. A. Lyle (Eds.), Lexham Geographic Commentary on the Gospels (Mt 25:31–Jn 10:15). Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press.

What the people listening to Jesus didn’t get was what any of that had to do with Him.  So, Jesus goes on with the analogy, explaining it in more detail.

Jn 10:7 Therefore Jesus said again, “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8 All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

By calling Himself the gate for the sheep, Jesus is saying that He is the shepherd – the one who lays across the gateway opening to keep the sheep in and protected at night.  He then continues the explanation, reaching the point where he makes the distinction between the thief who comes to destroy and kill – versus Himself who comes that we may have life to the full. 

In terms of our discussion, it would be like this:  the thief is the one who wants us to suffer that biggest regret in life – not feeling that we have fulfilled our ideal self.  On the other hand, Jesus’ goal for us is to reach the point where we have achieved our ideal selves.

Jn 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. 13 The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.

In case the point hadn’t been made clearly enough already, Jesus now says outright that He is the good shepherd.  He is the one who would lay down His life for His sheep.  In fact – Jesus did exactly that.  And part of what Jesus wants for us is to live life to the full.  A life that we would be satisfied with. 

Jesus then draws the line between Himself and the thief even more clearly.  The biggest enemy of the shepherds at the time was wolves.  So Jesus talks about the wolf – and the “bad shepherd..  The wolf is the one who attacks and scatters the sheep.  But then look what happens – the hired hand – the “bad” shepherd – just runs away.  It should be a reminder of the brief description of the boom and bust cities.  Like when corporations go in to make tomes of money – say like oil in Houston – and then run away when things go south, leaving behind those who can afford to get out.

Jn 10:14 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 17 The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.”

Jesus was speaking to Jewish people at the time.  The other flock he refers to is the non-Jews.  The Gentiles, as they were known at the time.  And He repeats the part about the sheep knowing His voice.  And then – Jesus says the thing that few, if any, likely picked up on.  That He would bring Himself back to life.  Resurrection.  But almost as an aside to the message of the good shepherd.

Where are we?

At this point, there’s a very clear distinction made between the choices we can make regarding the possibility of being in that 76%.  The ones with something less than their ideal self being their biggest regret in life.  

There’s one outstanding issue though.  Remember when I asked this question:

This begs a question, since we’re looking at living as the ideal self.  Who lived “the better” life?  Cain – because he lived longer?  Or Abel because he made the better offering to The LORD.  How we answer that question says a lot about whether or not we might end up with the people described by the title – sharing the biggest regret in life – not living as the ideal self.

We haven’t look into that yet.  So let’s do it now.  The passage below is from a time when the Jews were actively looking for a way to kill Jesus because of what He was saying about Himself, because He had healed someone on the Sabbath, and because He said God was His own Father.

Testimonies About Jesus

Jn 5:31 “If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid. 32 There is another who testifies in my favor, and I know that his testimony about me is valid.

Jesus’ first response to those who didn’t believe He was the Son of God – and on earth to do the will of The Father.

Jn 5:33 “You have sent to John and he has testified to the truth. 34 Not that I accept human testimony; but I mention it that you may be saved. 35 John was a lamp that burned and gave light, and you chose for a time to enjoy his light.

The Jewish people knew of John the Baptist, since he was the one immediately preceding who let them know Jesus was coming.

Jn 5:36 “I have testimony weightier than that of John. For the very work that the Father has given me to finish, and which I am doing, testifies that the Father has sent me. 37 And the Father who sent me has himself testified concerning me. You have never heard his voice nor seen his form, 38 nor does his word dwell in you, for you do not believe the one he sent. 39 You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, 40 yet you refuse to come to me to have life.

It’s interesting – disconcerting – and rather scary that Jesus tells the Jewish people they never heard God’s voice.  Taking that with what Jesus said about the shepherd and his flock – that’s not a good thing.  Not at all.

Jesus tells them that they are “diligently” studying scripture – because they think that by scripture alone they can have eternal life.  In reality – of the two leading Jewish groups – the Pharisees and Sadducees – only the Pharisees even believed in the possibility of resurrection. 

Even worse, in between those two things, Jesus says to the Jewish people He’s addressing – you do not believe the one he sent.  That’s really bad for them – telling these people that even with all their studying of the scriptures, they don’t the promised Messiah when He’s standing there talking to them.  But – it’s good news for us, because it provides a way to answer our outstanding question.

Jn 5:41 “I do not accept praise from men, 42 but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of God in your hearts. 43 I have come in my Father’s name, and you do not accept me; but if someone else comes in his own name, you will accept him. 44 How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God ?

Jesus’ conclusion here goes back to His message about the good shepherd versus the thief.  Jesus comes in the Father’s name.  Jesus is the One they have all been waiting for.  But the people who were waiting reject Him. 

But when someone else comes – the people listen.  And they accept what that person has to say. 

The bottom line – the people have rejected the good shepherd.  And accepted the thief.  Because they don’t recognize the voice of God.

Let’s put it another way.  One that’s worded according to our question of the biggest regret in life for most people. 

Too many listen to the voice that tells them the answer to an ideal self is to get more.  And more.  More money.  More stuff.  More fame.  More whatever.  The one with the most toys wins.

Not enough people listen to the voice that tells us the way to really reach the point of living an ideal life.

Too many listen to the thief.  And not enough listen to the Good Shepherd.

Conclusion – What is the biggest regret in life for most people?

So – 

Who lived “the better” life?  Cain – because he lived longer?  Or Abel because he made the better offering to The LORD.  How we answer that question says a lot about whether or not we might end up with the people described by the title, sharing the biggest regret in life, not living as the ideal self.

Cain lived a very short life.  But one that was fulfilling.  The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering.

On the other hand, Abel lived a longer life, but it was hardly fulfilling.  Here’s what we know of Cain, after he killed his brother:

Ge 4:9 Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

Ge 4:10 The LORD said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. 12 When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth. ”

Ge 4:13 Cain said to the LORD, “My punishment is more than I can bear. 14 Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.”

Ge 4:15 But the LORD said to him, “Not so; if anyone kills Cain , he will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the LORD put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. 16 So Cain went out from the LORD’S presence and lived in the land of Nod, east of Eden.

Cain was worried about two things:  that whoever came across him would kill him – and that he would be a restless wanderer for the rest of his life.  God took steps to be sure no one would kill Cain.  What that actually did was to prolong the length of time that Cain wandered the earth – restless and without God.

I’d have to think that if they were asked that question about biggest regret in life, Cain would certainly regret having killed Abel.  But the reality is, the first regret he would have / should have is this one: Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD.

Cain kept the best for himself.  Cain bought into the same kind of thing that we do today – we need more.  Much more.  Keep the best.  And lived to regret it..

and today?

The words of the thief are worse today than they were back with Cain and Abel.  Today, the message is not only more, more, more.  It’s also that Jesus’ words – and the Old Testament Scripture that wasn’t yet written in Cain’s time – about resurrection are a lie.  Those lies, if bought into, make the regret even larger.  

When we live the lie, we expect: follow the rules of the world today and make tons of money and we’ll be happy.  And at the end of our lives, nearly all find out the game was stacked against them.  They lived the lie.  But they don’t have the money.  And even for the few that do – you know, the one percent – they aren’t happy either.

But when we follow what Jesus said – what Paul wrote – we have what we need.  And we’re happy.  That’s in this life.  In the next live – we’ll have more than we could ever imagine – and be happier than we could ever dream about.

Much of this can be summed up in one short statement from Jesus.  There’s that saying – you can’t take it with you.  And it’s true enough.  However, that doesn’t mean we can’t have something waiting for us in the next life.

Treasures in Heaven

Mt 6:19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

So now I’m writing and teaching things like what you just read.  I’ve been doing this for over 10 years now.  I’ve had plenty of things happen in my life that I could have regretted.  But now I use them as part of what I write.  I use them to help others try to avoid biggest regret in life.  And in the process, I have no regrets.  None.  Even the worst things that have happened.  I wouldn’t change a single one.  Because that’s what God uses in me to be able to do what I do.  For Him. 

If you don’t believe that, I invite you to check out the series, Don’t waste your cancer.

And I’m happy.

Footnotes

  • 1
    Stewart, R. A. (1996). Shepherd. In D. R. W. Wood, I. H. Marshall, A. R. Millard, J. I. Packer, & D. J. Wiseman (Eds.), New Bible dictionary (3rd ed., p. 1093). Leicester, England; Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
  • 2
    Alexander, V. H. (2016). The “Good Shepherd” and Other Metaphors of Pastoralism. In B. J. Beitzel & K. A. Lyle (Eds.), Lexham Geographic Commentary on the Gospels (Mt 25:31–Jn 10:15). Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press.

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