What’s Missing in Your Life?

What’s Missing in Your Life? I imagine that’s a question many people ask. More than once. But how often do we give ourselves a good answer?

This is a question that’s often asked of non-Christians.  

You know, as a way to introduce God to them.

Today, I’m asking it of Christians.

Here’s why –

“When you consider the joys that God’s children can experience—and we haven’t begun to consider all of them—you wonder at two things: why more Christians aren’t rejoicing in their wonderful position in the family <of God> and why more unsaved people aren’t anxious to get into the family and start enjoying abundant life in Christ.

Perhaps if the children of God were more satisfied and joyful, the children of this world might want to trust Christ and be born again. How we live is as much a witness as what we say.”  ¹Wiersbe, W. W. (1988). Be what you are: 12 intriguing pictures of the Christian from the New Testament (pp. 18–19). Tyndale House.

Oops. I think I just doubled the number of questions that should be in the title! Now, we have to add: What might you be causing to be missing from someone else’s life?

As I said, yes, the title question is normally asked of non-Christians, with the intent of getting them to convert and believe what we believe.  But seriously, we, Christians, need to look at ourselves.  Are we examples of what someone else would want to be?  Or are we just like the person that we’re asking this question?  Or, worse yet, would they see a move to our lives as a step down and therefore they wouldn’t want to touch it?

You may remember:

Salt and Light

Mt 5:13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

Mt 5:14 “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

Yeah, that’s us who’re supposed to be the salt that gives flavor, and also preserves. And, we’re supposed to be the light on the hill that draws people to us and then on to God, as a result of seeing Him in our lives.

But – are we examples of someone that another person would want to be like?  Are we full of joy?  Are we joyful about what we have now? And especially, are we full of joy over what’s to come?  

Or are we focusing on problems all the time?  Or maybe so busy trying to keep our heads above water that we don’t have time for joy?  Or maybe we’re so afraid of everything that we just want to hide our heads in the sand and pretend this world doesn’t exist?  

And then there’s the possibility that maybe we think the message of the Gospel is all about saving ourselves, and we’re taken care of, let everyone else save themselves?

So yes, we must look at ourselves.  Very closely.  And, since we claim to be Christian, we must also pray about ourselves.  Are we living the life of a true Christian?

What’s Missing in My Life?

---

I wrote the original version of this seven years ago. As an academic exercise, and presumably as a teaching text, I still believe it was correct.

However, while I knew the answer in my head, I still hadn’t actually experienced it. Knew in my heart, because I lived through it and felt it, that my reasoning, expectations, and answer were the right ones.

As you’ll see shortly, I was aware of this. I knew something was missing. I even knew what it was. But in spite of all that, I still didn’t have it.

Now, in this version, I can say the “joy” from the original version was the missing piece. Specifically, the joy of the Lord. The joy from God.

I also found something else I’d been looking for all my life. Well, OK, ever since I was in grade school. If you’re a regular reader here, you know what that is. If not, hang in there. It’s coming.

With that, let’s get back to what was missing. With additions to the original on how I found it.

---

As I mentioned, “joy” was something I knew was missing from my life. I was praying about it. There were times when I thought I had it. But I was wrong. So the search continued. More than 15 years ago, some people in a group I was in at church told me that I did have it. I just didn’t recognize it. Didn’t really know what it was.

They were right, in a way. I didn’t know what it was. But I was right that I didn’t have it.

What’s missing from everyone’s life?

When I did the first version of this, it’s because I read Be What You Are, by Warren Wiersbe.  The quote at the top is from that book.

Looking at what he says in that quote, the question that stood out to me was this: why aren’t we satisfied and joyful?  I suspect I’m not alone as far as not really knowing what that meant.  In this life we’re taught to pretty much never be satisfied. We always want more, and we want more now!  And how can anyone be full of joy when we’re always short of the goals that we need to attain in order to even be satisfied, let alone joyful?

And if that’s not bad enough, then our group read this from James:

Trials and Temptations

Jas 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Jas 1:9 The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. 10 But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.

Sure thing! all sorts of different kinds of problems. That’s a surefire way to find joy. Not!

Perseverance? That’s something we just want to have, not to practice it. Perseverance is a pain. People talk about how Job had patience. And you know, maybe he did. But I think what Job really had was perseverance! And look what he had to go through the get it!

And that’s just my initial thoughts on the first two verses. We didn’t even get into wisdom, believing with no doubt, being humble, and all the dangers that come with the things we learned we needed while we were growing up.

How can there be joy in that?

But it got worse!

Jas 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Jas 1:13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

So there’s a reward for standing the test. The test that we can’t stand, unless we allow God to help us. Even the idea of needing help, let alone accepting it from anyone, is something many of us were taught was for losers and others who can’t take care of themselves.

And then we find out we can’t even say that God’s tempting us. Somehow, saying that leads to sin. What chance do we have of ever feeling joy?

But still, James wasn’t done! If we’re not totally turned off already, we read the “good” part:

Jas 1:16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

Really? Every, let alone any, perfect gift comes from the One who puts us through all that stuff and tells us that joy will come from that?

No wonder we don’t feel joy!

But wait!

Let’s look at being satisfied first.

Think about the Apostle Paul.  At various times he wrote about boasting, and that we should only boast in the Lord, for anything good we do is really from Him.  Well, remember earlier where we looked at salt and light?  That salt and light should be His – not ours.  Paul wrote about keeping that true in 2 Corinthians:

Paul’s Vision and His Thorn

2Co 12:1 I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. 2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3 And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4 was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. 5 I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say.

More head knowledge.

2Co 12:7 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

When I was younger, I used to be afraid God was going to want me to be like Paul. Back then, it was all the great stuff he did and all the horrible things he had to go through to accomplish them. Shipwreck. Prison. All kinds of dangerous experiences.

Weakness wasn’t something I remember associating with Paul. Even though, of course, I knew about this part. The thorn in the side was probably just one more horrible thing I didn’t want to go through.

Also, in the pursuit of joy and other other, as yet unspecified goal, all these trials at a younger age aren’t things we put up there on our bucket list. Who even has a bucket list before we get to the point we realize we’re going to need one?

Returning to Paul:

Yes, that’s Jesus telling Paul that His (Jesus’) grace is sufficient.  His grace is all we need to be “satisfied”.  Not satisfied in the way the world would define it, but in the way God defines it.  Finally, being satisfied is possible.  No more chasing after that “one more thing” only to find out that it wasn’t really the needed thing, but now something else is needed.  Like tomorrow, it never comes.  Just like tomorrow turns into today, that one thing needed to be satisfied turns into the stepping stone for the next thing that we need to be satisfied.

But let’s not stop at being satisfied.  Look what comes after that.  for my power is made perfect in weakness Think about that one.  By us becoming “weak” His power is made perfect.  So through us He becomes more power in our lives than we could ever be by ourselves.  Sounds incredible.  And yet …

The Shepherd and His Flock

Jn 10:1 “I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. 2 The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. 3 The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5 But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” 6 Jesus used this figure of speech, but they did not understand what he was telling them.

It’s just like when we’re young. Most likely, even after we’re baptized, until we’re mature enough in our faith to get a better picture of what Jesus meant. A picture that’s painted by experience.

Why do I say that? It’s like everything you’ve read to this point. In my head, I knew all that stuff. And yet, my life was telling me something’s wrong. I knew I didn’t have it. I also knew I was fighting against some of it. It hadn’t sunk into my heart yet.

Jn 10:7 Therefore Jesus said again, “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8 All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I wrote about this the other day (seven years ago when I wrote the first version of this piece) in how can it cost me nothing but ask me for everything?  It questions whether or not we’re really ready to live life to the full – or are we afraid of the idea? This is really important, as it turns out.

And then Jesus finishes with the rest of the passage that we also won’t get until we reach a certain level of experience and maturity.

Jn 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. 13 The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.

Jn 10:14 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 17 The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.”

The most important thing so far to answer, What’s Missing in My Life?

It turns out, the most exciting, productive, useful, and a whole bunch of other adjectives: life is through Jesus.
To the extent that we fail to be the salt and light that Jesus talked about,
to the extent that non-Christians look at us and aren’t even interested in joining us,
we have to question to what extent are we truly following Jesus,
to what extent are we allowing the Holy Spirit to live in us?

Yes. The Holy Spirit, of whom Jesus said:

The Work of the Holy Spirit

Jn 16:5 “Now I am going to him who sent me, yet none of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ 6 Because I have said these things, you are filled with grief. 7 But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. 8 When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment: 9 in regard to sin, because men do not believe in me; 10 in regard to righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; 11 and in regard to judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned.

Jn 16:12 “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. 13 But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. 14 He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. 15 All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you.

Jn 16:16 “In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me.”

We still talk about Jesus. About our personal relationship with Jesus. That we “know” Jesus. We do all sorts of things with/through Jesus.

But, do we pay attention to what Jesus said in that passage?

Jesus left. And when Jesus told His disciples He was going away, look what He said to them:

Jn 16:5 “Now I am going to him who sent me, yet none of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’

Today, we know where Jesus went. But, do we listen to what He told us?

7 But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.

We do know who the Counselor is, right? Paul called Him the mind of Christ. When I was little, He used to be called the Holy Ghost. Talk about a scary person you didn’t want to know. Now, we call Him the Holy Spirit.

No, we don’t know how the trinity works. But we’re told about the Father, the Son (Jesus) and the Holy Spirit. And Jesus told us He’s leaving us the Holy Spirit.

Is talking about Jesus all the time, instead of the Holy Spirit, a bad thing? I suspect that depends.

Francis Chan wrote a really good book titled, Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it.

One of the things we need to realize is all the things Jesus promised us that the Holy Spirit will do for us. If we think of Jesus only in terms of what He said and did in the Gospels, I fear we may very well be missing out on all the things Jesus promised us by way of the Holy Spirit.

This comes to light even more when we realize how the Bible talks about the Holy Spirit as the mind of the Father and the mind of the Son.

Even in the Old Testament, David knew of the importance of the Holy Spirit:

Psalm 51

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

…

Ps 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Ps 51:11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Ps 51:12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
…

Conclusion – What’s Missing in Your Life?

Can you relate to the image at the top?
Is something missing?
Is there no satisfaction in your life?
Is there no joy in your life?
Is something preventing you from being an example that non-Christians would want to be like?

Maybe try the adjacent image.

Put God in that missing spot.

Maybe this is who should be in the missing piece.  Sort of.

I’m talking about all of God. You know – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

When we become Christians, we receive the Great Commission just as those in Jesus’ time did:

The Great Commission

Mt 28:16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Notice: Jesus didn’t say baptizing them in the name of God!
Jesus did say baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

We have to believe that He named all three members of the Trinity for a reason. In fact, Jesus often mentioned the Father, the Son, and The Holy Spirit separately as well.  Like He was trying to teach us something.  About each of them.  And to leave one out, or to lump them all together when Jesus named them as individuals, is even that act of substituting “God” all the time instead of trying to learn about each member of the Trinity keeping us from something?

Like satisfaction?

Like Joy?

Like being salt & light?

Like living life to the full?

Like … ?

Like other things missing in our lives?

Pray about that.

And wait patiently for an answer.  It will come.

One last thing – the unspecified goal I’ve had ever since I was in grade school – probably 2nd grade.

Not surprisingly, it’s in a passage where Jesus spoke about – the Holy Spirit.

Jesus Promises The Holy Spirit

Jn 14:15 “If you love me, you will obey what I command. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”

Jn 14:22 Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”

Jn 14:23 Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. 24 He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

Jn 14:25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Jn 14:28 “You heard me say, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. 29 I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe. 30 I will not speak with you much longer, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold on me, 31 but the world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded me.
“Come now; let us leave.”

Think about it. Try to remember back to when you were in, probably, second grade. What might you remember from that passage? From hearing it in church?

The part I remembered: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.

No wonder it took so long to truly feel joy and peace!

It was more than a 50 year wait. It was after so many years of wanting that peace. And after reading Francis Chan’s book on The Forgotten God. After so much grief. And after finally learning to stop fighting God so much.

It was also while, not after, but while living through what James wrote about trials and tribulations.

---

---

The really weird part though, yes it does get even better, is the joy since then. Not the joy of getting everything in life I ever wanted. Or winning the lottery, which would truly be a miracle since I don’t play. No, it’s the joy of feeling God’s presence, His peace, and of being able to write things like this and to teach classes about God.

There’s just nothing else like it. Nothing better.

One last thing

I’d be remiss if I didn’t include one last thing. If/when you decide to pray to live life to the full, if you haven’t figured it out yet, stuff happens when God answers yes.

I pray that you get as much joy from reading and following up on this as I did going through the experiences and being able to write about them. Heart knowledge feels so much better than just knowing it in our heads.

---

Footnotes

• 1
  Wiersbe, W. W. (1988). Be what you are: 12 intriguing pictures of the Christian from the New Testament (pp. 18–19). Tyndale House.