A person who attends church regularly – but still doesn’t know the back story behind the song – it’s perfectly reasonable to think that this song is written by someone who has had their life blessed by God and is celebrating that. Which she is – don’t get me wrong. But does the person singing the song know that Sarah wrote this song, not in spite of what happened in her life – but exactly because of what happened – and what God is doing for her? I doubt that very much.
I do know now, after these past 7 years. Some of it was for others, based on feedback I’ve received. Some of it was certainly for me. The cost has been high. And yet, looking at the image at the top, I realize that when we’re talking about this particular cost, it’s really not necessary to blow up the budget – because the budget is way bigger than we can even begin to realize.
If you’ve read anything I’ve written about my past, you would know that answer is shocking. There are times I wanted so badly to reach the end of this life and go to live in God’s Kingdom. To be saying I have more to offer here in this life instead of “going home” is beyond belief. And yet – I said it. It is something I’ve spoken to the senior pastor at church about – that I really should find ways to use the gifts God has given me. But here, when it comes right down to it, I was still surprised to “hear” me saying this.
Before I leave you though, as promised earlier – when I say “best” answer – it’s maybe not the best answer ever. It’s what went through my mind this morning. It’s appropriate to where I am in my walk of faith at this time of my life. It may not be the “best” answer for you – at least not today. Maybe it will be on another day. Maybe there’s an even better answer for you today. After all, what’s “best” for you – that’s between you and God. My goal here is to get you beyond thinking the answer would be a simple “yes”.
Should God choose to present Himself to me as one of the many judgmental Christians (which lets me our of looking in the mirror to have God represent Himself to me as me – got it?) I would be shocked. No less shocking would be if He presented Himself to me as either a father or mother figure. One thing I’m sure of though – whatever way He chooses – it will be the way I need it.
Sometimes we can know for sure that followers of God don’t all hear from Him – like when two sets of people who know for sure they “know God’s voice” are saying two very different things. Both insist they are right about whose voice they hear – and what that voice is saying. Neither will say the other is wrong. Both just insist they are “right”.