We Christians always say things happen for a reason. And that God’s in control. However, when those things happen to us, do we live like we really believe it? We also say God’s always with us. Even in the bad times. And so, I believe God remembers my cancer situation. But, do I remember God?
God remembers my cancer. But do I remember God? is article #7 in the series: Do not waste your cancer. Click button to view titles for entire series
The words in the image work equally well whether it’s God to me – or me to God. The thing is, He knows that. It’s me that doesn’t always remember.
It happens to all Christians. We forget God when things don’t do well. And the worse things are, the faster we forget.
It’s not like it’s only me. But then, as someone who suffers from depression, it feels like it probably happens more often. And it’s probably harder to remember. It’s not like I’ve taken a poll or anything to know for sure. But it makes sense.
But then, that also doesn’t mean we don’t all experience it. So really, this is for anyone who forgets about God. In other words, for all of us.
God remembers my cancer
This is part of my Don’t waste your cancer series – named for John Piper’s book on his own bout with prostate cancer. So, let’s start with the update.
The short recap is: I was diagnosed almost two and a half years ago. Went through a period of active surveillance. Had surgery. There were cancer cells on the margins, meaning they almost certainly didn’t get all of it. Switched to a cancer hospital for further treatment. Went back on active surveillance.
Now, six months after the last surveillance began, the cancer is definitely still there, and definitely aggressive. The numbers are low, but they doubled from one quarterly test to the next.
So, the recommended action is to start radiation treatment. Now. Even though the PSA is still barely detectable, the fact that it doubled in three months is concerning enough that they recommend starting treatment now, as opposed to waiting for it to even reach 1.0. I have an appointment next week with the radiation oncologist team.
And God knows all this. In fact, He knew it before I was even born.
How do I know God remembers my cancer?
I could point to scripture for this. But not yet. Let’s look at some real, personal, experiences.
If you’ve read anything from my Learning from a dog series, you know some of the things God’s done for me. Part of it is about getting me out of some really dark periods in my life. Other, especially the later ones, were times when my wife and I dealt with lots of illness with two of our four-legged “kids”.
One even had cancer. And his enjoyment for life was amazing. Just one example is Learning from a dog – again. Here’s what it’s about:
What if we just trusted God – the one who’s in a similar relationship with us – as Dewey is to my wife & I? What if we were up for whatever He had for us – even if it seems to be painful at the time? What if we had Dewey’s attitude – we’re happy for the relationships – and just assume that whatever’s happening will be good for us.
And so, I have that to go back to, along with so many other things, that God’s done to prepare me for what He knew was coming.
Probably the most important one is detailed in God – is it time for me to go home? I spent a week in the hospital, after being really sick for two weeks prior to that. I had a staph infection that the antibiotic treatment wasn’t able to stop. My kidneys were failing. One of the doctors told me there would be some amount of permanent damage. My liver was beginning to fail. I had pneumonia. Couldn’t eat anything. Even the thought of food was too much.
And yet, it was the most peaceful week of my life! Two days after they told me about the kidney failure, the situation totally reversed. Lungs clear. Kidneys functioning again. They sent me home, hoping I could eat once I got out of the hospital.
I went home with a drain for the infection. A pump to inject antibiotics for the next four weeks. The third day at home, blood tests were completely normal for everything – except the infection. It was still “alive and well”. Meaning I wasn’t well. After four weeks of antibiotics via the pump, the infection was low enough that they pulled the tubes for the drain and the pump. But it wasn’t gone, so I still had courses of antibiotic pills to take.
When it was all over, my primary care doctor told me I, as he put it, beat the reaper. And no lasting damage from any of it. Kidneys, liver, and lungs all clear.
And as I said – so peaceful. That’s nothing short of shocking for someone who hates going to a doctor, let alone the emergency room and going through all those tests and treatments.
So yes, God remembered. And I experience that peace beyond understanding that we Christians talk about. Especially check out the underlined portion below.
Exhortations
Phil 4:2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. 3 Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.
Phil 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
So yeah – God remembers. God always knew. And God doesn’t forget.
But do I remember God?
That’s the question. Do we remember God? Will I remember God? And almost certainly, when I do forget God, will I quickly remember Him again?
Even Here, God knows. And prepares us. If we listen.
… till I find a place for the Lord … – remember God
I only recently started going back to in-person church services. Hadn’t been there in more than two years, only attending the streaming services. They told me at the cancer hospital to go to a gym. After switching to a very healthy fish and veggie diet, I was losing too much weight. So they told me I need to go and build up some muscle.
I figured – if I can go to a gym then I can certainly go to church! So I did.
Well, there’s a new person there doing a discipleship class. I decided to attend. Part of it is journaling. I have never ever been able to journal. I get so into what I’m reading that I go into analysis and research mode. That’s not a good thing for reading a chapter or two a day, every day, and getting into all that – as opposed to just writing something short on what I read without anything deep at all.
Being a tech person, I can’t just get paper and pencil and write. Besides, all my Bibles are online. Gotta have a computer of some sort. So I found a journalling program. With some templates. And I’ve been trying, not entirely successfully, to journal for the past week. I did five out of the eight days since July 1st.
You won’t believe what I got to read today. I read it this morning. And journaled this morning. After yesterday’s session with the oncologist. And just before I was about to write this. As a result of what I read this morning, I totally changed what I planned on writing. Here it is.
Psalm 132
132:8-10 pp — 2Ch 6:41-42
A song of ascents.
Ps 132:1 O LORD, remember David
and all the hardships he endured.
Ps 132:2 He swore an oath to the LORD
and made a vow to the Mighty One of Jacob:
Ps 132:3 “I will not enter my house
or go to my bed—
Ps 132:4 I will allow no sleep to my eyes,
no slumber to my eyelids,
Ps 132:5 till I find a place for the LORD,
a dwelling for the Mighty One of Jacob.”
Ps 132:6 We heard it in Ephrathah,
we came upon it in the fields of Jaar :
Ps 132:7 “Let us go to his dwelling place;
let us worship at his footstool—
Ps 132:8 arise, O LORD, and come to your resting place,
you and the ark of your might.
Ps 132:9 May your priests be clothed with righteousness;
may your saints sing for joy.”
Ps 132:10 For the sake of David your servant,
do not reject your anointed one.
Ps 132:11 The LORD swore an oath to David,
a sure oath that he will not revoke:
“One of your own descendants
I will place on your throne—
Ps 132:12 if your sons keep my covenant
and the statutes I teach them,
then their sons will sit
on your throne for ever and ever.”
Ps 132:13 For the LORD has chosen Zion,
he has desired it for his dwelling:
Ps 132:14 “This is my resting place for ever and ever;
here I will sit enthroned, for I have desired it—
Ps 132:15 I will bless her with abundant provisions;
her poor will I satisfy with food.
Ps 132:16 I will clothe her priests with salvation,
and her saints will ever sing for joy.
Ps 132:17 “Here I will make a horn grow for David
and set up a lamp for my anointed one.
Ps 132:18 I will clothe his enemies with shame,
but the crown on his head will be resplendent.”
OK – did you see the verses I’m referring to?
If not, or to confirm, here they are:
Ps 132:3 “I will not enter my house
or go to my bed—
Ps 132:4 I will allow no sleep to my eyes,
no slumber to my eyelids,
Ps 132:5 till I find a place for the LORD,
a dwelling for the Mighty One of Jacob.”
till I find a place for the LORD
I know just the place. Places, actually.
In my heart. And in my mind. And in my soul. And therefore, everything I think and everything I do.
It’s not my idea, really. It’s from:
The Greatest Commandment – Matthew
22:34-40 pp — Mk 12:28-31
Mt 22:34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Mt 22:37 Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
If I succeed in that, then I’ll remember.
And when I fail to remember, I pray I’ll be reminded.
what did I journal about Psalm 132 and God remembers my cancer. But do I remember God?
Here it is. I doubt it’s a great example of journaling, but hey – it’s a start. And it’s the heart that matters, not the actual words. The template is the parts in purple like this.
• What am I feeling right now?
The verses below are important as I go into radiation treatment – stage IIIB
God will remember me – I must remember Him.
Ps 132:3 “I will not enter my house
or go to my bed—
Ps 132:4 I will allow no sleep to my eyes,
no slumber to my eyelids,
Ps 132:5 till I find a place for the LORD,
a dwelling for the Mighty One of Jacob.”
• What am I thankful for
That God will always remember me
• What did I have problems with?
When things go south – sometimes don’t look to God fast enough
• What are my plans for tomorrow?
To remember this
• Other thoughts & ideas
Incredibly appropriate, given just got told yesterday that radiation treatment is recommended now, as aggressiveness is becoming obvious.
If I hadn’t been told to go to the gym because it would help me with the cancer recovery/treatment, I wouldn’t have gone back to in-person services at church. And if I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t have gone to the discipleship class. And if I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t have read Psalm 132 today. Nor would I have journaled.
But God, as we say, worked it out so that all those things did happen. And then, because of that sequence of events that otherwise would not have occurred, I wouldn’t have read verses I really needed to be reminded of today.
“I will not enter my house or go to my bed — I will allow no sleep to my eyes, no slumber to my eyelids, till I find a place for the LORD, a dwelling for the Mighty One of Jacob.”
And it just keeps going from there.
Christian community – remember God
One more thing. I got an email from a friend this morning. It was a response to an email I sent to people in the class I’m teaching at church now. Of course, it included something about praying for me and the doctors. And then it closed with:
It is the least a Sister or Brother in Christ can do to lend whatever support that may be needed and shine the peace that only the Lord can provide.
Conclusion – God remembers my cancer. But do I remember God?
So yeah – God remembers my cancer. Just as surely as God remembers everything about all of us. Well, almost everything. There’s a very long passage in Jeremiah where the prophet tells the people about the future coming of the Messiah from God. Jesus.
Since it’s so long, two chapters, only a few verses are included below. In verse 33, it speaks about a future covenant to be made with Israel. For us, as Christians, we’re included in that, as Jesus pointed out during His ministry. More on that after the passage.
Restoration of Israel
Jer 30:1 This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD: 2 “This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘Write in a book all the words I have spoken to you. 3 The days are coming,’ declares the LORD, ‘when I will bring my people Israel and Judah back from captivity and restore them to the land I gave their forefathers to possess,’ says the LORD.”
…
Jer 31:1 “At that time,” declares the LORD, “I will be the God of all the clans of Israel, and they will be my people.”
…
Jer 31:33 “This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel
after that time,” declares the LORD.
“I will put my law in their minds
and write it on their hearts.
I will be their God,
and they will be my people.
Jer 31:34 No longer will a man teach his neighbor,
or a man his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’
because they will all know me,
from the least of them to the greatest,”
declares the LORD.
“For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more.”
…
Why are Christians included in a covenant to be made with Israel? Remember, Jesus came to save the lost sheep. All the lost sheep.
The Shepherd and His Flock
Jn 10:1 “I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. 2 The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. 3 The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5 But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” 6 Jesus used this figure of speech, but they did not understand what he was telling them.
Jn 10:7 Therefore Jesus said again, “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8 All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Jn 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. 13 The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.
Jn 10:14 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 17 The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.”
Verse 16 includes those of us known as Christians today.
I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.
Therefore, based on this, we can go back to Jeremiah and know the verse below, among others, applies to us.
“For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more.”
God chooses to not “remember” our sins anymore. But everything else, He surely does remember. And if we remember God, He will also guide us through the things that happen.
Am I going to promise a happy ending no matter what?
Well, that depends. Depends on two things.
First, without getting into semantics or word games with denominational doctrines, I do not believe we can fool God into saving us if we don’t truly follow Him. So one of the prerequisites, for me, is that we really do try to follow Jesus.
If we do that, and if we really understand the Good News of the Gospels, then yes, there will be a happy ending. But what does that mean? It doesn’t necessarily mean all goes well in this life. And let’s not forget, everyone Jesus healed did eventually die. Even those He brought back to life. And so will we. Will I die from cancer? This cancer? I don’t know. But I have the Christian hope that after this life, I’ll be with Jesus. And that’s the best ending.
If you’re not sure about Christian hope, what it is, or what I mean, please see Do Christians really know what “Christian Hope” is?
Image by Tanseer Saji from Pixabay